How to set realistic expectations for your mentoring sessions?

The importance of setting expectations

Setting clear expectations from the beginning will help you prevent misunderstandings and feeling disappointed. This applies to any type of relationships, but it is crucial for mentor-mentee relationships to establish what each party expects from the other, this way both will take advantage of the mentoring process.

But if it is too important to set expectations, how can you do it correctly then? There is no correct answer as some people believe that you should first write your needs and challenges so based on them you can communicate what you expect. Others believe you should look out for someone who has experience doing what you do and work the expectations with them.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter how you approach this, as long as both parties communicate clearly what they expect, then you are doing great. But why is this important? Because it helps you understand if you are a great fit for the other person. As a mentee, you may find a great mentor that would help you, but maybe they are not fit for your learning style. As a mentor you may find the mentee’s needs are too challenging for you so they are not a great fit for you.

Whether you are a mentee or a mentor, establishing expectations from the beginning is key. If you want to learn some best practices and the common expectations the other person may have, then you are in the right place.

What are mentorship expectations

Mentorship expectations refers to what the mentor or mentee hopes to achieve by the end of the mentoring process. As this is a key aspect of the relationship, both mentors and mentees need to express their expectations at the beginning, as well as their expertise and goals. The best expectations come from discussions that help build them, so having an early conversation about this is important.

To prevent disappointments, explicit communication needs to happen. This will help define the frequency in which the meetings will happen, the preferred communication methods, learning methods, and boundaries as well. Remember every relationship is built upon mutual trust and respect.

As the relationship evolves, so should the expectations. Objectives may shift with new challenges or milestones, and both sides must stay flexible. Mentorship works only when both mentor and mentee show up, mentally, emotionally, and consistently for each other. This includes being flexible enough to adapt their goals and processes to achieve mutual growth.

So, what should a mentor-mentee relationship look like? It needs to be a relationship that builds and grows exponentially based on respect, trust, open communication, honesty, flexibility, and a mutual interest to help each other.

What should a mentee expect from a mentor

What should a mentee expect from a mentor? The answer extends far beyond career advice and helping with a challenge. A great mentor provides guidance and structure while showing empathy for the mentee’s professional and personal growth. In a well-balanced mentor and mentee relationship, the mentor acts as a trusted advisor and role model. So, the mentee will expect to have a captain they trust while they embark on a new journey.

Strong mentorship can positively impact engagement and career outcomes. Studies show that 89% of mentored employees feel their work is valued, and overall engagement can rise by up to 50% when effective mentorship is in place. These results don’t happen by chance, they come from mentors who embody six essential qualities.

Empathetic person

Empathy is the foundation of a strong mentoring relationship, an empathetic mentor is someone that is able to create a safe space for the mentee, so they can share their insecurities, challenges, ambitions, weaknesses, and strengths. This is especially important early in the relationship, when trust is still being built.

Empathetic mentors seek to understand their mentee’s problems instead of finding a quick resolution. By validating emotions and acknowledging personal context, they guide mentees toward clarity rather than quick conclusions. In practice, this might look like listening to a mentee’s frustration about a failed project and helping them reflect on lessons learned rather than focusing on blame.

Empathy ensures the mentee feels valued as a person, not just as an employee. It is important for mentors to guide mentees find the answers by themselves instead of providing them with the answers, if not they will keep failing.

Active listening

Active listening distinguishes a transactional advisor from a transformational mentor. A mentor’s role is not to dominate conversations, but to draw insight from them.

Related to empathy, active listening helps differentiate between a momentary advisor and a transformational leader. Mentors need to seek insights from the conversations, this way they can understand their mentee better. It will also help the mentee reflect on their own experiences and knowledge so they can draw their own conclusions. This approach builds confidence and self-reliance, core elements of sustainable growth.

Mentors skilled in active listening also catch what’s not said. They pick up on recurring frustrations or limiting beliefs, and they proceed to address them constructively. For mentees, this is an invaluable opportunity for self-awareness and perspective.

Passion for teaching

Mentees hope to find a mentor who is genuinely passionate about teaching and sharing knowledge to inspire them to stay curious and engaged. Passionate mentors cultivate a mindset of lifelong learning by bringing lessons and insights from their own journeys, allowing mentees to connect theory with real-world context.

This kind of teaching isn’t confined to skill-building only, it also shapes leadership style and professional values. In short, a mentor’s enthusiasm sets the tone for the mentee’s motivation. It demonstrates commitment, which encourages the mentee to invest deeply in the relationship.

Metrics creation

Every mentorship should have measurable outcomes. Vague aspirations, like “develop leadership skills” or “gain confidence”, become meaningful as they are not trackable goals. A good mentor helps mentees identify milestones and define success indicators, so they can measure progress.

By creating measurable metrics, mentors ensure accountability and direction. It also makes it easier to celebrate progress, a key motivator in any mentor mentee relationship. These metrics turn mentorship from a casual dialogue into a structured growth plan. Inside those trackable metrics you can have broad ones like developing a new skill, but you need more specific ones that surround it to actually measure the progress.

Stress relief strategies

Growth, especially professional growth, comes with high stress and pressure, so mentees expect their mentor to help them deal with it effectively. A great mentor is also one that encourages difficult conversations that show the reality of what the future holds. Not to scare the mentee, but rather to help them prepare themselves for it so they know how to deal with it.

Helping mentees develop resilience strategies might involve reframing challenges, modeling calm under pressure, or helping them prioritize effectively. By assisting with this, mentors show that professional development isn’t only about performance, but also about well-being.

Such guidance is particularly powerful in today’s fast-paced work environments. When mentees learn to handle stress with perspective, they become stronger contributors and in some cases, future mentors themselves.

Respect

Respect is the cornerstone of every meaningful relationship, so this goes beyond any kind of mentoring. Acknowledging someone’s individuality, background, strengths, weaknesses, and potential is a great sign of respect. A mentor should never impose their path or perspective, but instead empower the mentee to define their own.

Respect also means confidentiality, creating an environment where mentees can speak freely without fear of judgment or exposure. When a mentor shows respect, it strengthens trust and teaches the mentee how to carry that same value into their own professional relationships. In essence, respect transforms the mentorship dynamic from hierarchical to collaborative, where learning flows both ways.

What should a mentor expect from a mentee

Remember this is not a one-sided relationship, so it is natural for mentors to have expectations about their mentees. The partnership builds on mutual assistance where mentees learn from the mentor’s experience and the mentor is challenged to learn from the mentee’s new perspectives. Understanding what a mentor should expect from a mentee ensures that the mentorship remains productive for both parties.

A successful mentoring relationship depends as much on the mentee’s effort as it does on the mentor’s wisdom. When mentees show initiative, communicate openly, and demonstrate respect, they turn guidance into growth. This section outlines six key mentor expectations that shape strong mentoring relationships.

Building trust with them

Trust is the bedrock of any meaningful mentorship, so mentors expect mentees to show honesty and respect. This builds trust that allows for authentic discussions, about struggles, career doubts, or areas of improvement.

When mentees are open about their challenges and receptive to feedback, mentors can tailor their guidance effectively. Trust also grows through consistency, so mentors expect their mentees to show up prepared, meet deadlines, and maintain confidentiality, these are some qualities that mentors deeply value in their mentees.

Willingness to learn

Curiosity and humility define the best mentees. So as mentees expect their mentors to be passionate about teaching, mentors expect their mentees to be eager learners, individuals who approach conversations with an open mind and readiness to grow.

A mentee’s willingness to learn is reflected in their attitude toward feedback. So you need to change your mentality as a mentee. Instead of defending mistakes, explore them. Instead of seeking approval, seek improvement. This proactive mindset transforms mentoring sessions from passive listening into active learning experiences.

In high-impact programs, mentees who embrace this growth mindset develop faster and gain more from the relationship.

Clear communication

Effective communication keeps mentorships on track, and mentors expect mentees to express their goals, concerns, and feedback clearly. Ambiguity leads to misaligned priorities, while open dialogue ensures progress stays visible.

Before each meeting, mentees should outline what to discuss with their mentor, from project updates to career questions, showing respect for the mentor’s time and commitment.

Clear communication isn’t about perfection, it’s about transparency. When mentees articulate their needs, mentors can respond with relevant, actionable guidance.

Respect

Mentors invest their time, expertise, and emotional energy, often beyond formal obligations, so they expect mentees to demonstrate appreciation for that commitment through professionalism and punctuality.

Respect also means honoring boundaries. Mentors are guides, not managers or saviors, so recognizing the limits of their role keeps expectations realistic and sustainable. Being on time, sending a thank-you note, or following through on agreed tasks, reinforce mutual respect and affirm that the mentorship is valued.

Share ideas and questions

Mentorship is most powerful when it becomes a conversation, not a lecture. Mentors expect mentees to engage thoughtfully by asking questions, sharing ideas, and contributing insights.

This active exchange benefits both parties, because mentees bring fresh perspectives that challenge mentors to think differently. This mirrors the principle that mentorship expectations should always include mutual growth, not one-sided instruction.

A curious and engaged mentee transforms sessions into collaborative problem-solving spaces, where both participants evolve through dialogue. With a space like this, mentors become more motivated to help the mentee, as they are actually showing interest in their growth. This reassures the mentor that they are doing a great job, impulsing them to become better.

Punctuality and responsibility

Reliability is one of the most visible ways a mentee demonstrates professionalism. Being punctual, keeping commitments, and completing action items are habits that carry big meaning. When mentees consistently follow through, mentors feel confident their time is respected and their guidance is valued. This reliability also helps mentees build credibility, an essential trait that mentors often recommend to their networks or future employers.

In essence, responsibility is the bridge between advice and achievement. Mentors expect mentees to take ownership of their goals, turning discussions into measurable results.

How to prepare for a mentoring session

1. Create an expectations’ mapping. The first step in effective preparation is to align mentor mentee expectations. Misaligned goals or assuming what the other person expects derails progress early, and to prevent that, both parties need to create a written or visual “expectations map.”

What is this map about? It outlines mutual responsibilities, meeting frequency, confidentiality terms, and key goals. Some organizations formalize this through mentorship agreements, while others prefer flexible mapping exercises that evolve as the relationship grows.

By setting clear expectations from the start, both mentor and mentee gain a shared understanding of what success looks like for the other person and how they measure it. This clarity eliminates ambiguity and strengthens trust, which translates into a more efficient mentoring relationship.

2. Evaluate each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Mentoring thrives on transparency. Before or during early sessions, both parties should discuss their respective strengths, development areas, and preferred working styles. This way both mentor and mentee get to know whether they’re a fit or not.

For mentors, this helps tailor guidance to the mentee’s real needs rather than assumptions. For mentees, being honest about weaknesses builds credibility and invites targeted support.

For example, if a mentee admits they struggle with delegation, a mentor can focus on decision-making frameworks or leadership confidence. Conversely, when a mentor shares their own growth areas, it humanizes the relationship and encourages two-way learning.

3. Identify your mentoring goals. Every mentoring relationship needs direction. Without clear objectives, sessions can drift into friendly conversation without tangible outcomes.

Both mentor and mentee should identify short-term and long-term goals before meeting. Short-term goals might include learning a new skill or completing a key project, but long-term goals could involve career advancement, leadership readiness, or personal growth milestones.

Setting goals also helps answer a key question: what to expect from a mentorship? When objectives are explicit, progress becomes easier to track, and achievements can be celebrated along the way.

4. Prepare an agenda. Every mentoring session should have structure, but not rigidity, this means the agenda might adapt during the session. Preparing an agenda shows respect for the mentor’s time and ensures key topics are covered. This kind of preparation helps mentees decide what to discuss with their mentor before the meeting. At the same time, mentors can prepare relevant insights or resources in advance.

Flexibility is important too, some of the best discussions happen organically. The agenda should serve as a guide, not a script, this is key, the agenda should not dictate you what to say, it should rather dictate what the conversation needs to look like.

5. Discuss challenges to overcome. Trust is the very value in which trust is built upon. A mentoring session should be a safe space to bring up real challenges, whether professional, interpersonal, or emotional.

Discussing obstacles invites collaboration and creative problem-solving. For example, a mentee struggling with team dynamics might gain practical communication strategies, while a mentor hearing those challenges can better tailor their guidance to real-world situations.

This open exchange deepens mutual understanding and strengthens trust, core aspects of any effective mentee and mentor relationship.

Best practices for mentoring: Maintaining a great relationship

Even the strongest mentee and mentor relationship needs deliberate care to remain effective. Mentorship thrives when both participants commit to maintaining respect, communication, and adaptability. Over time, clarity and consistency transform mentorship from a short-term exchange into a long-term professional alliance.

Research continues to underscore this importance: 97% of mentored employees describe the experience as valuable, and organizations with mentoring programs report 67% better productivity. These numbers don’t just reflect good relationships, they reflect sustained, well-managed ones.

Below are six best practices for mentoring that help maintain a productive, lasting relationship built on growth and shared success.

Maintaining respect and autonomy

Every mentorship carries some degree of power imbalance, one person holds more experience, authority, or influence. The key is to manage that dynamic through mutual respect and autonomy.

Mentors should guide without controlling, while mentees should learn without dependency. Both need to recognize that respect is not about hierarchy but about valuing each other’s perspectives.

When autonomy is honored, the mentor and mentee relationship becomes empowering rather than prescriptive. The mentee gains confidence to make independent decisions, and the mentor fulfills their role as a catalyst, not a commander. This gives the mentor a feeling of satisfaction, as knowing they helped someone else thrive makes them value themselves more.

Communicate with each other to set expectations

Open communication is the foundation of lasting mentorship. Regularly checking in, whether formal or informal, ensures that mentorship expectations remain aligned as circumstances change.

Revisiting mentor mentee expectations keeps the relationship agile and effective, as it prevents slowing down the process and ensures both parties remain equally invested in progress.

Strong communication also reduces misunderstandings, which is especially vital in cross-generational or cross-cultural mentorships. It builds trust, accountability, and a shared sense of purpose making the relationship very valuable.

Identify the needs

As the relationship develops, both parties’ needs may shift. Early on, a mentee might need guidance on immediate career steps; later, they may need strategic advice or exposure to new networks. Mentors, in turn, may seek fresh perspectives, feedback, or opportunities to refine their own leadership approach.

Regularly reassessing what each side needs ensures the mentorship remains relevant and reciprocal. This is one of the most overlooked best practices for mentoring, yet it’s crucial for keeping engagement high and outcomes meaningful.

Constructive feedback

A strong mentor and mentee relationship depends on the ability to exchange actionable and respectful feedback. Mentors should go beyond praise or criticism to provide clear insights that help the mentee improve. For instance, instead of saying, “You need better presentation skills,” a mentor might say, “Try opening your presentation with a story, your audience will connect more easily.”

Equally important is the mentee’s role in giving feedback. Sharing how mentoring sessions have helped, or where more guidance is needed, creates a continuous feedback loop that benefits both sides.

Motivate each other when needed

There will be moments when motivation dips, when projects stall, or when self-doubt creeps in. Both mentor and mentee play a role in reigniting motivation, as mentorship isn’t just about accountability, it’s also about encouragement..

For mentors, motivation may mean reminding the mentee of their progress and potential, and showing how much you learn with them. For mentees, it could mean expressing appreciation, showing visible growth, or sharing success stories that validate the mentor’s impact.

Be grateful for the opportunity

Gratitude strengthens the human side of mentorship. Beyond goals and outcomes, taking time to acknowledge effort, sending a thank-you message, celebrating milestones, or reflecting on shared progress, reinforces why mentoring matters.

Gratitude also deepens professional bonds. Many mentorships evolve into lifelong connections or collaborations because both sides consistently express appreciation and mutual respect.

Creating realistic expectations for each other

We showed what the common expectations mentees have about their mentors, and how mentors feel about their mentees. Open and honest communication is key at the beginning, where you are getting to know each other, so when the time comes and your needs evolve, you both take it the best way possible.

Since both mentors and mentees can have similar expectations, it is important to put yourself in their shoes. Rather than trying to find the perfect words to explain what you expect, you need to show empathy towards them to build your expectations on trust.

At Mentors CX we believe that open communication is part of humbleness, which is one of our core values. So, next time you are about to start a mentoring session, make sure you have some expectations written down and share them with your mentor. This way you both can create more grounded expectations so at the end you both can feel the sessions were productive. Join us, explore our mentors and select the best one for you!